Episode 124: How to Excel At Work If You're A Highly Sensitive Person

Being a highly sensitive person can sometimes be challenging when you work with others, but it can also make you very valuable at the workplace. Learn how to embrace your sensitivity and the gifts it has to offer.

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Transcript

 (Transcript is auto-generated and may contain minor errors.)

 Hi, I was just thinking this week about how this time five years ago  was when our whole world turned upside down with the COVID 19 pandemic. Totally unexpected. We had those shutdowns and we were sent home from work and it was a very bewildering time. I remember as a therapist just feeling like how on earth am I going to do therapy from home? Of course, now telehealth is just a natural thing. But back then, and you may recall, too, depending upon what kind of situation you had with your work,  feeling like, how are we going to do this?  And then things reopened several months later. And I know some of us were so excited, like, yes, get back out in the world, get back to the workplace, back to co workers, life as we knew before was returning, but not everybody felt that way. Some people felt overwhelmed. Having been home for a while, it just felt like a lot to go back out and resume these activities.   I guess one thing that's made me think about this is not only like a five year anniversary mark that we're approaching, but Also, the fact that more recently, at least in the United States, we've experienced some companies mandating return to the workplace,  It's accelerated more recently, and you know, again, some people are feeling like, okay, That's fine.

 And other people are feeling like this is really a difficult challenge. And one thing that can affect this is whether you have high sensitivity or not. If you have high sensitivity, you might feel fine with going back to the office, or you might not. But chances are, If you are a highly sensitive person, you probably are going to have a little bit more of a bumpy transition if you're trying to navigate that return to full time work at your former workplace or your current workplace. 

So I thought it would be useful to take a look at that because I really enjoy working with highly sensitive people. It's one of my specialties. I'm a highly sensitive person myself.  So Let's take a step back, actually, and talk for a second about what exactly do I mean by highly sensitive Person? Well,  psychologist Elaine Aron found in her research that between 15 and 20 percent of human beings have what is called sensory processing sensitivity.

 And this is a genetically driven trait that refers to having a high degree of sensory and interpersonal sensitivity.  So one way to remember what that is, is by using the acronym D O E S, does.  

  D  stands for depth of processing, that highly sensitive people tend to continue to process information that they were exposed to hours ago, days ago, turning it over and over in their head, especially emotionally charged information. They really tend to think, think deeply about things.  

 O stands for overstimulation. Highly sensitive people tend to be more sensitive to sensory input like sounds, lights, smells,  textures, pain. Not across the board. Some people who are sensitive to sound may not be sensitive to light and so forth. So it doesn't have to be all your senses being highly charged, but there tends to be some degree of  A high sensitivity to sensory input, you know, some particular sense or senses that are impacted. And because of this, highly sensitive people can get overstimulated and tense more easily when there's a lot of sensory input.  

 E stands for emotional responsiveness and empathy. Highly sensitive people are often more deeply moved by art and music and by emotional content and they're more upset by emotional tension. So if you have a highly sensitive friend or maybe you relate to the concept of high sensitivity, you may know that if somebody suggests a movie that's like a slasher movie, something that's kind of intense.  You or your highly sensitive friend are probably not going to be at all interested in seeing a movie like that. It's way over the top, just too difficult to see people suffering. Even if you know it's a movie, it's just going to be really hard and not entertaining or fun. to watch.  Because highly sensitive people tend to read other people's emotions and get deeply affected by those emotions. I've had people tell me I just feel like I'm an emotional sponge when I'm around people that are experiencing emotion. I just suck it right up. 

 And finally, S stands for Subtle Stimuli Awareness. So this refers to the ability to pick up on slight changes in the environment, those little details, and to be able to adjust as needed to those little changes in the environment.  

 Sometimes people  hear about these characteristics of high sensitivity of highly sensitive people or HSPs and they mistakenly think that these  mean that someone has ADHD or that they're on the autism spectrum.    HSP qualities can coincide with neurodivergence, but we're not talking about the same thing.  Being highly sensitive is a genetically driven trait and it's its own entity.  

All right, so let's go back to that return to work question. How does that fit with all of this? Let's say that you have been told that you need to go back to the workplace full time after working from home. And, let's say that you're not feeling excited about this transition, you're feeling kind of concerned. You might be thinking about, oh man, I'm going to have a commute again. This is going to cut into my time. You might be thinking about needing to dress up for work. I've been used to working in whatever kind of clothes I feel like. Not putting on makeup, not shaving, whatever. And now this is going to be a hassle. So all these things could be going through your mind as you think about going back to work.  However, if you're highly sensitive, you could be thinking about all of these things and a whole lot more. And basically, the emotional volume can be turned up for you as you consider these things. You can be thinking about, for instance, the commute, the extra time, but then also thinking All the different ways this can impact you and your family, you can be feeling distracted thinking about how am I going to have time for everything.   People who are highly sensitive tend to be conscientious, they just really want to do well, they want to make other people happy, they, again, they're sensitive to other people's emotions, they are detail oriented, so they will quite naturally consider the ripple effect of this change and turn it over and over in their head. 

 They can also feel overstimulated when going back to the office, going back to the commute, being around coworkers.  So if you're a highly sensitive person and you're going back to the office, you might notice The tap, tap, tap of your coworker typing in the next cubicle. You might notice the click of the clock, the fluorescent lights, the slightly metallic scent of the office furniture.

 All of these things are going to require adjustment. All these little details are different from what you've been experiencing at home.  And, if there's emotional tension at work,  you will feel it. And this can really affect you and distract you.  A study of highly sensitive people at the workplace found that a majority of highly sensitive workers felt overwhelmed at work several times a day, and that did affect their energy levels and concentration. 

They also tended to work longer hours than people who were not highly sensitive.  And, you know, that makes sense. Remember that conscientiousness piece, wanting to do a good job. And they tended to feel more negatively impacted by criticism. So, that can enter into this, of course. If you're feeling like, I don't want to be criticized, I want to do an excellent job, so I'm going to put in extra effort. You know, that can be magnified with being at the office.  

 So before you get too discouraged hearing all of this, I don't mean to make it sound like, man, if you're highly sensitive, good luck.  It is not a flaw to be highly sensitive. As I mentioned, I am highly sensitive myself. It's important to recognize being highly sensitive has some great aspects to it. Being naturally in tune with others,  being empathetic, able to notice details, you know, all of these things can make HSP's very caring managers. It can make them great at sales. Because they can sense what customers want. They can sense what their employees need.  They can anticipate trends potentially. And that's really useful in business because if you are noticing the kinds of things other people miss. and noticing what people are responding to,  and furthermore, thinking about the bigger implications of a trend, how this is affecting other aspects of life, that ripple effect, man, that's huge. That's really valuable.  

So how can you make the most of being at the workplace,  using your gifts to make a positive difference if you are sensitive and not get overwhelmed?

And if you're not highly sensitive, I mean, some of these suggestions could be helpful to you, too. If nothing else, you could possibly be more aware of what your highly sensitive co workers might be experiencing. So let's take a look at that.  

 One thing to think about is your morning. Even before you get to the office, you want to try to allow enough time so you're not rushing around. You want to get a good breakfast so your blood sugar isn't low. And, you know, I know not everybody is a breakfast person. If you're not, then a smoothie might be more your speed. Smoothie with protein in it. A lot of times it's easier to sip on something rather than eat something first thing in the morning. 

 It can also be helpful to think about your office space. What is your office space like? Is there a quiet corner you can use? Especially if you're at a cubicle or something like that.  Is there an unused conference room if you just need to get a break from people from time to time? So you're not soaking up their emotions. 

 And along those lines, remember, boundaries are important. They help maintain your energy. So be sure to take your breaks, try to leave on time.  If somebody's chatting with you at your desk, and you need to get something done, you may feel like you're really drawn into what they're saying, and you might feel bad about cutting them off. And this can create a lot of tension, you know, but I think if you let people know, Hey, I really want to hear about this. Unfortunately, I'm pushing a deadline right now, so tell you what, let me ask you about this when I'm all done doing this. People are usually quite understanding about that.  

 Another thing you might want to think about is how you can take care of your senses. So think about the senses that are particularly likely to be picking up on all these changes in sensory input and address them. You might think about wearing some noise reducing headphones if you're sensitive to sound, or even some earplugs that reduce the noise level.  You might want to have some plants around to have a more soothing visual aesthetic. A beautiful calendar. For tactile, you might want to have a soft blanket over your chair.  You might even want to have a massaging footstool. That's my secret. I have a massaging footstool. And it's really nice to just be having a little foot massage while you're working. Very calming. All these things can help soothe your senses. 

  And think about how you can get those deep thoughts out of your head if you find yourself turning things over and over. It's a good idea to have some way of taking notes so that you can address those thoughts later and you're not constantly pulled by them, feeling distracted. So grab a notebook or open up an app, make a note and see when in your day you could give Those thoughts, your undivided attention.  

You might also think about doing something for your physical body.  Uh, well, and it's good for your emotions, too. Think about chair yoga.  While you're waiting for an email, or maybe you're on hold with a phone call, waiting for something to get started, you could do a favorite stretch. 

You could do some breathing. It doesn't have to be specifically chair yoga, but if, if you're interested in yoga, then doing a quick search for chair yoga on YouTube, you might find some good things that you could try.  But some things that come to mind for me, you can, if you have a chair on wheels, you can simply roll back from your desk and just push your hands into the edge of the desk, lengthening your spine. That can feel really good. You can take your thumbs along the ridge at the base of your skull and just  kind of gently stroke up, providing a little bit of traction and massage because Your neck is holding up that heavy bowling ball weight head all day long, so that can feel really good, giving yourself a little massage, you can give yourself a scalp massage, just taking some kind of a break for yourself. 

Even if you're not mandated to return to the office,  especially if you have high sensitivity, it's worth it to just take a look at what is your work setup and are there some little tweaks that you can do so that you can concentrate better and not feel so wrung out and depleted at the end of the day. 

 If you want more information about high sensitivity, I recommend Elaine Aron's website. You can go to www.hsperson.com to check it out if you want some ideas. 

Thanks so much. Have a great week.