Episode 122: Escapist Fun You Can Take Anywhere

Feeling a little joy starved? Reading is something you can do for minutes or hours at a time, and with digital and audio books as options, it's more accessible than ever. Join me and special guest Stephanie Leopold of The Readerly Collective as we discuss her novel (sorry, couldn't resist!) approach to book clubs and reading.

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Transcript

(Transcript is autogenerated and may have minor errors.)

AM: Welcome back. I am delighted to have a special guest today, Stephanie Leopold. Stephanie is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She's living in the Midwest with her husband and her two dogs. She's a lifelong bookworm, and she's created the Readerly Collective membership to help readers remove shoulds from their reading life and enjoy reading again. So welcome, Stephanie. 

SL: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here today and to talk books and reading with you. 

AM: Yeah. And thank you so much for joining us.  It's fascinating to me that you've been a social worker for a long time, and,  obviously that keeps you really busy,  and yet at the same time, you have this love of reading. And so,  balancing the two out,  how do you manage to do that? 

SL: Oh,  well, I think it's really important, especially being a therapist and working with clients, having really good work life boundaries, to be able to kind of set some time, you know, once you're done with your work day, you're done with your work day. And.  Then I can, in my evenings have some reading time.  I also, if I have a cancellation or a no show, , I've got usually my Kindle or an audiobook going. I can, I can listen or read for,  you know, 20, 30 minutes,   I think  it's about  making the time  and finding those just little pockets of time too.  

AM: Yeah, absolutely. And I think when, I think so many of us find ourselves doing so much for other people where our energy is going out, going out, going out, and we need to refill, you know, we need to refill.  To me, I think that really speaks volumes, , that you've said, no, I've got, I've got boundaries around this and I take this time to, , take care of myself and do something that I love so that then I do have the energy to give to others.

SL:  Absolutely. And I think,  we always say it, even to our clients, you're not good to anybody if you are depleted. Um, and so I really,  try to,  talk the talk and walk the walk. Yeah. 

AM: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.  I think when you're doing something that you love,   you're giving yourself energy back, , so that you're not getting depleted. That's kind of a no brainer. But specifically with reading, , what do you see as the benefits of reading and sharing what you've read with other people? 

SL: Oh,  so much. I don't think your podcast is long enough to go into  all the benefits. You have to find out.  Yes, but I, I think, oh my gosh, there is so much. Like, I think  it's a good way to relieve stress.  It's a good way to slow down. And.   In one of my podcast episodes, I talk about reading as a mindful experience and really soaking in,   all the good stuff about reading. And I think also talking about reading.  With other people that enjoy it, you have that social connection and, it's just stimulating your mind, it can elicit emotions, it can,  I, you know, again, it's just, there's just so much. 

AM: Yeah.  And obviously your creativity, right? You know, it just turns out. Yeah. And when you're sharing with somebody else and you're hearing what they're reading, I think just, it just lights up your brain differently, , where your imagination just really can go to with fiction, , in particular, , where your mind could just really go to,  different places, especially if somebody is reading something that, right. Right. You were just not aware of like, oh, my gosh. Wow. You know, that's really interesting. Yeah. Yeah.  So the program that you have is.  It's a book club, and yet it's not a book club. So, tell us a little bit about what it is. 

SL: It is not your typical book club.  Essentially, it has the foundation of a book club, where we all get together around a theme, , or a prompt, rather than one specific book. And why I created this membership this way is I crave a book club. I love a book club. I think most of us do. And I'm personally a big mood reader, and so a lot of times, picking one single book  made it feel like a chore, or made it feel like it wasn't fun.  And I wanted to take that pressure out of A book club, and so we have monthly themes and prompts, you get to interpret that however you want, and you get to pick whatever book you think fits that, and then we come together and just discuss. our books that we picked and, and how it fits in with that prompt. , it also again blows up our to be read list because then we're, , exposed to what everybody else is reading, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, I guess, depending.   It's not like a traditional book club,  and why I created that. I wanted it to be just fun. I mean, that was my whole thing. I want it to be fun. I want it to be easy.  And I don't want, I don't want the pressure or the shoulds . 

AM: Yeah, yeah.   It just brings to mind for me when I was a kid,  our local library had a checkout limit. You could have a certain number of books and I would always go up to the checkout limit. You know, I would get my whatever it was, dozen books and I load my backpack, load my little basket on my bike and I would ride home from While reading my mother didn't know this, but  while writing my house and then I would just go back and get more and it was so fun and then,  becoming an adult being in grad school, getting so busy with like reading that I had to do.

SL: Yes.  

AM: For school and that sort of thing.  I just,  I thought, man, I want to get back into reading again. And I joined a book club and found that it felt like homework. And I went to book club and I hadn't finished the part we were supposed to read. So I was kind of bluffing my way through and people were confused and saying. But don't you remember Jeremy said da da da da to Sarah and I was like, oh really?

SL: Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. 

AM: I was bluffing and I thought, okay, this is not for me, , but the way that you're approaching it with a theme  just really makes me think. Of, um, just last night. I, I was so excited talking about this book that I'm reading  and I thought, okay, I need to shut up because I'm just going on and on about this book,  but it was just fun,  and then she was chiming in with, you know, we both like historical fiction, so, you know, I was talking about the 1880s, she's talking about the 1910s, and, and it was just so fun, you know, to just kind of We agree on the theme, and we're not reading the same book, and we don't have to be on the same page.

SL: Exactly. Yeah. 

AM: Yeah. So, brilliant. I really like that idea. 

SL: Oh, thank you so much. Well, and I love  the, like, picture of you going to the library and getting your, you know, however many books. And,  also don't read and drive. That should be a thing. Or read and ride your bike. 

AM: Absolutely. Yeah. Yes. 

SL: That's what audiobooks are for, um, right. But I'm just like, gosh, , that was always my big thing is just like, what  world am I going to get into today?  Books are.  The same books books are books, but like every single book is different. And so I, I'm a big believer that there is a book out there for everybody. So  I just, I love that.  

AM: Yeah, yeah. And so if somebody is.  Kind of in that place  where I was, where I had gotten, , away from my love of reading because I was adulting, you know, I imagine there are some listeners who are like that, where they're just like, man, , I wouldn't know where to begin with reading.  What would be. your suggestions for finding,  that love of reading or,  recapturing that. 

SL: Yeah, I think there's a couple different thing, things to think about. One is is the question, like, where do I start? What do I read? Or if the question is, how do I find the time and get it back into my life?  So with finding what to read,  sometimes I think it's great to go back and reread the things you've, you already know and love, even if it's like a kid's book.  I think that can really spark something.  There are  a bajillion wonderful book podcasts, , book YouTubers, Instagram.  , it may take a little bit, but I always say find the people that are recommending books that kind of resonate with you.

 AM: Or going to your local library. 

SL: Yes.  Absolutely. Librarian or, , independent bookstore.  Yeah, they they are readers.  So they can they can definitely help as well in terms of getting Back into a routine or finding the time i'm like I said with you know in between clients Sometimes i'm a big proponent of finding small pockets of time even if it's just like 15 minutes. , I think sometimes we feel like, okay, if I'm gonna read a book, I'm gonna spend four hours this afternoon wrapped up in the story. And that's great if we're able to do that, but we're not always able to do that with adulting. ,  Because that's how we are, right? And so I'm like, , today, on my way to the grocery store, it's about a ten, five to ten minute drive to my grocery store, and I pop in my audiobook for five to ten minutes while I'm driving. , so I, I'm really a big proponent of you don't have to spend hours and hours , reading. You can do it in  ten, fifteen, thirty minutes at a time.  

AM: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.   And I fully agree that,  I think that we automatically think of a to do list,  we think, okay, I've got to have a list of, , things that I want to get accomplished, but. , so often I talk with folks about what's going to be your fun list for the day and look at your day and you're like, wow, this is a really busy day. I feel like that's all the more reason,  like the really busy days of the days when you especially want to replenish your energy. And so I, I encourage people to think about what could you do even for 5 minutes and. People usually give me a blank stare like I have no idea what I would do in five minutes. That would be restorative. And, , so often it's like, ,  the thing that comes to mind that is a longer thing to do for fun, , we can find a way to make it smaller and very often that's 1 of the 1st things I suggest is I say, do you have a book? Is there something that you're reading or even. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.  Are there like articles where you're  trying to compile, , information about a project, , take an article, take a book and make sure you have it with you. So, like you say, , I'm running errands. I've got some driving time. I'm going to enjoy, , learning, , what happens, , in the next little installment of my story. 

SL: Yeah. And I think too, because books are so accessible now, because we've got audio books on our phone. We've got digital books on our phone.  , so you no longer have to carry around a big hunk and hardcover from the library. You have it on your phone that you can just.  Yeah, and say, okay, I'm, I'm standing in line at the grocery store, uh, or, you know, waiting in a waiting room at the doctor's office. , that's, I always, I'm like, yes, waiting room at the doctor's office. I'll get some reading in, um, you know, to, to just be able to, yeah, have that couple minutes to just get into a, an activity that you enjoy  

AM: And  it's something that doesn't have to,  cost you an arm and a leg because.   I mean, with audiobooks,  many audiobooks are on, they're on YouTube, they're on the Libby app for libraries.  , so you can just check them out for free, which is fantastic.

SL: That is how I listen to my audiobooks. I get them on my Libby app. So yes, if you don't know about the Libby app, check your library. It is amazing. They also do digital, , books. So if you read on your phone or you have a Kindle, , the digital books will go. You can transfer them over to your Kindle. And,  yeah, that's it.  Read them that way. Yeah. It's, it's really easy to access and it's free. And it's so great. 

AM: Yeah. Yeah so now I'm curious about  what's in your car, what's on your nightstand,  Not necessarily what are you reading right this minute, but I'm just curious about what has just really grabbed you.  What have you felt like? Oh, man, that was amazing. 

SL: Um, there's a few and so what's what's usually on my nightstand or in my earbuds is,  murder. Uh, I love, am a mystery suspense thriller. Readers, so that's usually what I'm reading. , but what has been great I read The Frozen River by Ariel Lahan. It's a historical fiction mystery. , and It is about this midwife,   she's the midwife in the northeast during wintertime. They have to cross the frozen river, like, that's how they know it's like springtime when it starts to thaw. But there's a, mysterious death. I loved it. It was a, it was, I enjoyed it much more than I expected to, so The Frozen River.  And then I just also read recently, , The God of the Woods by Liz Moore. It's been a huge, I've seen it everywhere, but I follow a lot of people.  Mystery, thriller,  multiple timelines. It's about a girl who goes missing at a summer camp. Her parents own the land that the summer camp is on and 13 years earlier, her brother also went missing and was never found. So spooky summer camp vibes,  multiple points of view. It was great. 

AM: Great. Yeah.  Now when you do your book club,  it's not always like spooky murder mystery type stuff. This is just like your favorite genre. 

SL: Yes. Yeah. 

AM: Yes, you, but you like to  sample from different genres, right? 

SL: I do. Yes, absolutely. A majority, a majority of my stuff is probably mystery suspense, but I do like literary fiction, historical fiction sci fi fantasy. , rom coms and romances are probably my least favorite. I would rather watch a, watch a rom com,  than read about it.  But yes, I do try to get out of my comfort zone  of mysteries.  

AM: Well, and that's a good way of putting it. I remember when I was a teenager, every Christmas I would get a sci fi book from a family friend that was totally into sci fi. And I did, I did not like sci fi. I'm like, okay, you know, here we are, but he gave me one, one year that was about a teenage girl on another planet and some of the struggles that she was facing. And suddenly that got my interest more. I mean, you know, Dune, I was like falling asleep, you know. But, but suddenly I felt like I can relate to this girl. That's weird because she's totally another galaxy, , so I think sometimes, you know, trying to be open.  And being like, let's see. And I mean, it may not grab you or it might kind of depending upon the twist or the particular, uh, you know, way that they approach the material. Yeah. And I think that's another benefit from talking with other people about these things.  And what you mentioned about revisiting children's books that we enjoyed, ,  that's actually something  that I've enjoyed doing because now having access to so many resources on the internet,  since I, my preferred genre is historical fiction biography,   I'm reading and I, and then I'm finding, Ooh, you know, I want to, I'm finding myself like, you know, looking up things like, uh, so what was it like to sew on a treadle sewing machine, you know, and I'm like getting the information access  to when I was a kid and it's, it's just fascinating, you know, like putting these different pieces together.  And that's something where. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it didn't really occur to me right off the bat to revisit books I enjoyed as a child, but when it came to me, I was like, Wow, I wonder what it would be like. I don't really remember much about that. And suddenly, it's just fascinating. You have different eyes to look at it.

SL: Yeah, it's, it's like,, a couple years ago I read, Ramona and Beezus. 

AM: Oh, I loved those. 

SL: Because they were my favorite growing up. And I Just had a new appreciation for Beezus.  You know, because it's told from Ramona's point of view, and it's like, Oh, you know, Beezus is so mean or whatever. But then as an adult, I'm like, Oh no, she, she's just an older sister. 

AM: exactly. Yeah. I've done it. Same thing.  You can't really see in, in my office, but  I'm a big Peanuts fan and so yeah, I've gone through and read like I have like the volumes of the peanuts comic strips and reading them as an adult. Yeah. You just really get an appreciation where it's like, wow, I can so relate to Linus today.

SL: yeah. And all of those things that like  you like maybe were a wink and a nod to the parents who were reading them to you that you just totally went over your head as a kid and you're like, Oh, that's. Smart. 

AM: Yeah. Yeah.   So give us a little bit more  specific information about your program. So this is online. I mean, how does it work? 

 SL: Yes. So, it is a monthly paid membership. We meet once a month to discuss , the book theme.  There's a private Facebook group. And along the way there are also some other member events, but that's the major structure. Kind of like, regular book club.  Currently there's a wait list. So,  listeners, if they want to get on, they can go to my website at www.thereaderlycollective.com. And there's a place to get signed up for the. , waitlist will be opening in late spring, which I think is the perfect time  for a lot of people summer time is , sometimes a slower time  for people to be able to read  and get involved but , I also offer monthly hourly, dedicated reading hours, , that listeners can sign up for for free. That's also on my website. , but once they get signed up either on the waitlist or for those reading hours,  they'll hear from me, they'll know when that waitlist opens, and we would just love to continue to grow that community.  

AM: Great. Yeah. And I agree.  Getting ready for beach reading  sounds like a lot of fun.

SL: Yeah. And I, as I was saying that,  we have clients and everything that are like, Oh, summer actually ramps up with kids activities, but I'm also like, you have practice times, you have carpool time, there's, I feel like there's a lot more time to read in the summer. 

AM: Well, that sounds wonderful. Yeah. 

SL: Yeah. And again, I just want it to be fun. I just want it to not feel like pressure  or like homework. And that's, that's the big key  to the book club. 

AM: Yeah,  terrific.  Well, is there  any closing advice that you might give to folks who are just feeling like, you know, I get up, I get ready for work, I work, I come home, I, I eat, I crash, I go to bed, I don't have time,  to try to get more fun in their lives. 

SL: Yes, I do have advice. One, like you said, is always  the small moments. , because we do have things we have to do,  and I think we have so many things like we have to do that like we do need to have more fun in our lives,  so we're not just like going through the motions and in this roulette, , but yeah, I think it's the small moments. I, I think it's these  five, ten minute things of like, let me just recenter myself. Let me  fill my cup just a little bit. Let me,  slow down and take a breath.   I think we just need that today.  We're so inundated with information and  our phones and I'm sure you hear it, but I, I have so many clients that are just like, I'm on my phone all the time and I don't want to be, but I don't know how to get off of it. Well, if you're going to be on your phone, why not read a book?  

AM: Yeah, instead of doom scrolling or whatever. 

SL: Doom scrolling, exactly, right? Because I know, I mean, I can doom scroll with the best of them.  Right? And when I get done doom scrolling, I'm always like, oh, I wish I would have. Stop that earlier. You know, it doesn't make me feel good. Whereas if I , take the time to read a book, even if it's on my phone, I feel good that I'm spending my time in  a better way. I don't want to say like a more productive way, but like it makes me feel good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting something out of it. 

AM: Absolutely. And  if you're doing a job where you are,   spending a lot of time by yourself, you need some social connection.  If you're doing a job where you are around people all day long, you need some time to yourself. If you're a stay at home parent and you're spending time with kiddos all the time, you need some adult time. And I feel like.  Your program can address all of those things.  If I'm just spending a lot of time alone, I'm going to really benefit, I would think, , from like the Facebook group and that sort of thing. If I'm needing time to myself, like you say, those little pockets of time, five, ten minutes, let me just immerse myself in a book and introvert for a while because we need that. . And what we were talking about, about the joys of revisiting children's literature. I mean, there may be some parents out there saying, I've got it up to my, up to my ears. Um, I need adult, I need that murder mystery things sounds good to me. So it seems like the opportunities that we have for reading and particularly reading in a community of others, it just seems like it could be such a rich experience on multiple levels. 

SL: absolutely. And now that you mentioned that, , I think that's why I also love reading. I would identify myself as an introvert. , I love time alone. I love To read and nothing recharges me more than being with my group of friends that are also readers and we're just like going a mile a minute talking about the books we're reading , and adding books to our to be read piles. And, um, right. So it is  helpful on so many different areas. 

AM: Yeah, yeah, like you say, when you're an introvert, I mean, we think of reading as an introvert activity, but there's just an opportunity to connect with others  that can come with it.  And I have to say, whenever I've talked with you, I've always seen this beautiful pile of books and I'm just like. It makes me drool. I'm like, Oh, I just want to grab one of those books and start reading. I'm so curious.  

SL: I need to, I need to change that. So these are my therapy books. 

AM: Oh, oh, okay. So not as I fantasized.

SL: And I don't know if I can move my chair.  So that, ah, okay, over toppling stack right there is my fiction. 

AM: Gotcha. 

SL: Work. Pleasure there. 

AM: Yeah. Okay. But that's a, that's a healthy stack of pleasure books. 

 SL: It is. Oh yes, for sure. For sure. Balance. All about balance. 

AM: Absolutely. Awesome.  Well, thank you so much for joining us, Stephanie. I really,  appreciate your taking the time out of your schedule to, to do this and I'm, I'm pumped.

I'm excited  to think about our listeners starting to dig into reading for 2025. 

SL: Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. This was such a fun conversation. I can talk about books all the time. So thank you for having me.  

AM: All right. Have a great day.