Episode 116: You Are Enough

Are you staying up late to get everything finished before 2024 comes to a close? Worrying that you won't be able to get it all done without burning the midnight oil? We'll look at how common this is and how to have a more relaxing December, wrapping it up with a meditation to help you feel centered and at ease.

Want to get a snapshot of your own life in just minutes? Take the free Prior 10 Life Assessment at www.prior10.com/assessment.

The information contained and documents referenced in the podcast “Your Priority Centered Life” are for entertainment, educational and informational purposes only, and are not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, professional medical or health treatment, diagnosis, or advice. We strongly encourage listeners to consult with medical providers or qualified mental health providers with issues and questions regarding any physical and/or mental health symptoms or concerns that they may have. Furthermore, the opinions and views expressed by podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates are not necessarily those of the podcast host. Dr. Alise Murray’s opinions and views are expressed in her individual capacity and are not to be construed as those of any of her podcast guests, partners and/or affiliates.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:14 Holiday hustle culture
• 14:15 How to help loved ones feel special
• 22:22 You are enough: A meditation

Transcript

Holiday hustle culture: Survey by Talker Research (on behalf of HP) – 2000 parents of school-aged children

·        66% said they have pulled an all-nighter, staying up an entire night to get ready for the holidays.

·        The average parent in their survey estimated that they would be up past midnight 5 times to prepare for the holidays.

·        77% said they feel pressured to make the holidays better than in prior years.

·        86% said they consider holiday activities to be some of the best quality time they spend with their family all year.

We of course want to enjoy the holidays, so how do we do this when there's so much to do?

Stop and think for a moment.  When did you feel loved as a kid? When did you feel special?

Chances are it was when an adult really focused on you, just as you were. 

If you want your kids, as adults, to look back on their childhood and say it was happy, this is the secret sauce. Research tells us that spending one-on-one time with your child and letting them take some of the lead has powerful effects on their well-being.

Now, if you are a sleep-deprived parent, how easy is that to do? To spend time with your kid without giving excessive direction? To do a craft without micromanaging, or play a game and genuinely enjoy it? 

We need limits so we aren't frazzled and exhausted. Here's how:

First, set a deadline. No more preparations after this date, except for what’s absolutely necessary, like holiday cooking. Maybe you could use the Monday after Thanksgiving as the last day you will do any shopping, decorating, cards, or wrapping other than stuffing something in a gift bag and calling it good. Or the last day of November. Now I know this is a little late this year, and I hear you. My deadline is usually by the end of Thanksgiving weekend, but I’ve had some things happen in my family that I didn’t expect, so my deadline is Dec. 15 this year. Yup, three days away. Not my preference, but life happens. At least it’s a deadline.

Brainstorm everything you need to do, and then make it a game to see how many things you can cross off that list or simplify. Or possibly postpone. 

The reason to do this is because you want to list experiences next. Not necessarily the big Santa parade or the Christmas play. Think about how you can share one-on-one time with someone you love. An hour, or a half hour. Something they can have some say in. It can be as simple as going to the store together, but letting them pick a Christmas playlist, and singing in the car. 

And when it comes to the actual holidays, think about how much time you want to spend with loved ones and by yourself to recharge. Make this the focus. Challenge yourself to keep it simple.

Holiday meditation:
Imagine sitting in a room, a room filled with warm, natural light. To your right is someone you love and who loves you unconditionally. Could be human, could be a beloved pet. To your left is someone you love and who loves you unconditionally. Perhaps there are more people or animals who come to mind who love you unconditionally and whom you deeply care about. Invite them in. Make a circle of love and support, with these wonderful beings. You look at each of them and see eyes filled with love and happiness to be with you. You send that same message of love in your eyes to each of them. This is a circle of love and support. It is always with you, caring for you, supporting you, just as you are. You are enough and you are treasured. Breathe in this love, into every cell. Breathe out and send that love and kindness to others. What you do is enough. You are loved and you are enough, just as you are. Feel that inner smile. Wiggle your fingers and toes, stretch, and inhale your eyes open.